Tag: working mothers

Career

Rising from the Ashes to New Life

While the microwaved MacBook is out of commission, I’m trying to do the preparatory work I need to complete for my new client. I’m still shocked at what has happened and will not ever tell my client that my soon-to-be-ex has microwaved my laptop, which is why I can’t get them the comps they need.  I interview, write, search for photos, get approval on copy and photographs and accomplish as much as I can within my means.

Grace, I never realized just how much I depended on my MacBook—for everything, to stay connected, for my livelihood, for my creative flow, for the feeling of independence. For an instance, I feel like Adam took all of that away from me. In destroying my MacBook, he destroyed part of who I am, my spirit, my dreams, my ambitions.

Then, I realized, Adam gave them back to me—a desire to pursue all of what I want regardless of the trials and tribulations. He gave me a reason to fight for what I want. He tried to melt away everything that meant a great deal to me, to destroy a material object, but he couldn’t take away what was in my mind, my heart, my soul. No one can take any of those things away, unless you let them. And I refuse to let Adam or anyone else take away my spirit, my dreams, my ambitions.

Guiding Lesson: Eve, I admire your ability to take a situation that could destroy you and change your focus to see that you can rise from the ashes to new life. This is remarkable.  It is a gift you are giving yourself and your children.

Life is filled with many uncontrollable and unexpected events that can crush you.  The question is not why these things occur but how will your respond and be the good in a world it so desperately needs.  Even in your imperfection, God can work through you to be the message of goodness.  His spirit will breathe the gifts of peace, compassion, and forgiveness that will guide your actions.  This does not mean you need to be a doormat.  In fact, the opposite is true.  You need to be strong and courageous to trust God in your life.

Mother Theresa once said, “People may be irrational, illogical and self-centered.  Love them anyway.”  This is what makes the world a wonderful place to live.  Life is the greatest adventure even when it is not all good.  There is no script but the one you choose to write.  The problems of the world, though many, remind us that God is only good.  “The choice for this all-good God allows us, ironically, to deal victoriously with non-goodness.” (Richard Rohr)

Eve, you did good because God is good who lives in you.  You have made him a part of your story instead of allowing others to create you story.  Now it’s time for a new chapter.  What will you write?

Grace

 

Motherhood

Birthday Planning Detracts from Divorce

I’m grateful for the special occasions in my life like birthdays! It’s David’s birthday and he’s turning five years old. Oh, what joy it is for me to bake cupcakes and take them to his school. With so many preoccupations of divorce and work, I’m so happy to be baking and shopping for goodie bags and treats for the children in his classroom.

Although he wants Batman as his theme, he’s picked out the cupcakes he wants for girls, pink cupcakes with Peeps pink bunnies, and for the boys, he wants the brown cupcakes with chocolate icing and Peeps yellow bunnies on top. I think he’s so funny.

I can’t wait to for tomorrow night to bake while I sip Merlot and taste test the cupcakes. 😉 I’m glad for the downtown, all while doing something that will be memorable for David. He has also asked me to take him home after they celebrate his birthday at school. He told me all the other mothers take his friends home on their birthdays and he wants me to do the same. I’m definitely taking the day off to celebrate his birthday. He only turns five once. =)

Guiding Lesson: Eve, I can’t think of a better way to get your mind off of the divorce than baking cupcakes for your son and sipping Merlot.  I might have to join you.

I guess you have found out that one can not be focused on the divorce 24 hours a day.  Like any situation that is not pleasant and has potential to induce a great deal of stress, one needs to reengage with the rest of life. Life is much more than the one event.  It is made up of many.  So while your head may be spinning trying to work through the divorce, your children are the perfect reminder that the little things in life have the capacity to bring about much joy.  And what is more urgent than picking out the right theme and types of cupcakes for one’s birthday?

I know I have said it before and it is worth saying it again.  Children are an incredible blessing.  They have so much love for life and are entrenched in the moment.  They don’t dwell on what happened yesterday because it will get in the way of discovering, playing and laughing right now.

As you prepare for David’s birthday and take the day off to be with him, remember that this is possible because of Adam.  Both of you are responsible for David’s and Jonathan’s birth.  So when you resume your focus on the divorce, let the love you have for your children be the guiding light you need to respond and make the best decisions for all.

Grace

 

Career

Open Your Arms to Receive

It’s funny how things work out, Grace. I had been hoping to start my own public relations consultation business and recently had an opportunity to do some freelance work for a nonprofit. How exciting is this, Grace!? As one door closes another one opens in my life. I hope this is the beginning of additional freelance work. I could certainly use the additional money while I’m in the divorce process.

God is good to provide for me. I find it amazing how the positive energy is surrounding me. I feel open to receiving wonderful gifts and am looking forward to what more will come my way.

I think it’s time for a celebration. Merlot, here I come! =)

Guiding Lesson: Eve, I love how any event is a cause for a celebration. You are definitely someone who has a spirit filled with so much passion and life. I can tell you want to enjoy all of the life what God promised you. “I came so that you may have life and have it to the fullest.”

Well Eve, God is faithful and has so many things to offer you. You may be going through a divorce but God sometimes is able to operate best when there is a void or space that has been created. He is always looking to fill emptiness and shine light in the darkness or take what is dying to bring about new life.  All you have to do is make room, trust in his timing and get out of the way. Oh, I forgot one more thing, think beyond your wildest dreams because he has a reputation for wanting to outdo himself if you let him.

Here is a story I want to share that is based on the Acts of the Apostles.

There once was a man who could not walk and had to be carried everywhere he went. Since he could not work, his friends would carry him in front of one of the gates in Jerusalem for him to beg for money. He was getting more and more bitter with each passing day because he was consumed with money.

Then one day, a stranger was walking by. The crippled man asked for money as usual, but saw the stranger didn’t have any. He quickly wanted to focus on someone who did and not waste time on him. However, the stranger stood in front of him and said, “I don’t have money, but I can offer you something better.” The cripple man could not think of anything better than money. He was intrigued and anxious to see what could this be. The stranger said, “In the name of Jesus get up and walk.” The cripple man initially thought he was ridiculous until he started feeling some tingling in his legs. Sure enough he got up and began to walk. He was healed and realized that he would have missed out on this because he was thinking so small compared to what God wanted to give him.

Eve, you think big and God thinks even bigger. So stretch out your arms and receive his blessings. Remember, “His ways are not your ways and his thoughts are not your thoughts.” And by the way, there is no one who likes to celebrate more than he does. I know he would be happy to join you for a glass of Merlot, and if he doesn’t, I will.

Grace

 

Motherhood

Sharing my Heart with Two Young Men

I had an incredible Valentine’s Day with the boys. Since I didn’t have a special man for my Valentine, I realized I had two wonderful hearts that love me unconditionally. I remember a friend once told me that she took her son out for Valentine’s Day. He always choice the restaurant among a selection she gave him. I thought that was a wonderful day to celebrate this day.

Just as my friend does, I, too, decided to take the boys to their choice of restaurant and dessert. Of course, they chose Chuck E. Cheese. Fun, food and more fun. Afterwards, I, along with them, indulged in Baskin Robbins ice cream: Gold Medal Ribbon, Jamoca Almond Fudge and Nutty Coconut. Oh my goodness, Grace, I went a little crazy getting a three-scoop ice cream. I rationalized the choice by getting three kid scoops. LOL After everything I have gone through, I decided to splurge on my craving.

The best part of Valentine’s Day is that we spent it together having fun, laughing and for a while, escaping the stress of our everyday lives—they as children of soon-to-be divorced parents and I as a parent going through divorce. I felt that I was able to bring some sense of normalcy and excitement in their lives during our challenging time together.

Guiding Lesson: Eve, what a great idea!  Your boys must have loved it.  They got to spend Valentine’s Day with the most special female in their lives, their mom. Would this memory have ever been possible if you had a significant other? Probably not.  You took a situation that was bitter and made something very sweet that both you and your boys will cherish.  This sounds like it is the beginning of a new tradition that they may even pass on to their children.

Since this time of year is painful for many adults and given you are in the middle of a divorce, I think I’d like to share some poems written by children.  Read these and remember what you did for your boys is appreciated and they will be forever be grateful.  You may not have had the one heart you so desired but you had the opportunity to show your love and plant seeds in the hearts of your boys that will grow to touch many lives. The impact of how you approached this day will help bless the world in ways you cannot imagine in years to come.  Here are the poems to  help you remember how special a mother is to her children.

Grace

Mom, I’ve got some friends
Of each and every kind,
But a better friend than my mother
I’ll never, ever find!
I’m so happy you’re my mom!
I love you.

By Joanna Fuchs

Best Valentine Mom

On Valentine’s day, I think of you, Mom;
I love you really a lot.
In my life that’s full of many good things,
You’re the very best thing I’ve got!
It’s Valentine’s Day, so I want to say,
I’m the luckiest kid anywhere;
You’re the sweetest, greatest, best mom around
And I want you to know I care!
Happy Valentine’s Day, Mom!
By Joanna Fuchs

When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking

When you thought I wasn’t looking,
I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator,
and I wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you feed a stray cat,
and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me,
and I knew that little things are special things.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I heard you say a prayer,
and I believed there is a God I could always talk to.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I felt you kiss me goodnight,
and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw tears come from your eyes,
and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it’s all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared
and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I looked…
and wanted to say thanks for all the things
I saw when you thought I wasn’t looking.
– Anonymous

Wonderful Mother

God made a wonderful mother,
A mother who never grows old;
He made her smile of the sunshine,
And He molded her heart of pure gold;
In her eyes He placed bright shining stars,
In her cheeks fair roses you see;
God made a wonderful mother,
And He gave that dear mother to me.
– Anonymous