How exciting it is to be connecting with friends on Facebook! I met someone who I knew in sixth grade and visited him at his house for the first time several weeks ago. I have to say that was a big mistake, Grace. I didn’t think anything of it at first, but recalling the text messages and phone calls, I felt a bit giddy and nervous at the same time.
I haven’t dated since about 14 years when I first met Adam and, quite honestly, forgot what it’s like to be asked on a date, have a proper courtship, or meet someone on neutral ground. When I showed up at his house I simply thought it would be nothing more than a friend meeting a friend from a long time ago.
Oh, Grace, then my yearning for touch got the best of me. One thing led to another and after about a month of talking it led to a physical encounter. I don’t know what I expected to happen; certainly it was not what I expected. After realizing what had just occurred, I bolted out of the house. My sense of touch combined with fleeting emotions for a meaningful relationship became a combination for disaster for this divorced mom. I’m feeling a little sick to my stomach. I need a cupcake!
Eve, the sweet embrace that our human condition desires heightens in the presence of possibility and hunger that exists between physical beings. The need for touch is normal and is necessary for growth that begins from the day we are born. Without it, hearts and souls shrivel up. Without it, hearts and souls are unable to understand true intimacy. Without it, God’s embrace is never felt.
So what happened that day when you innocently went to visit your friend? When you look deep inside, was there any part of you that was considering the possibility of an encounter? I ask this because many times the silent, hidden parts of our beings are more aware than the parts that are visible. It is for this reason that taking time for prayer, meditation, and silence is important to understand the depth that exists underneath the tip of the iceberg only found in the deep waters of the soul.
What would you have discovered by sitting and being still before the meeting? Would you have felt some stirring that was like a little child pulling on the parent’s clothes trying to get their attention? Would you have discovered your “longing for touch” attempting to make itself known? This is what it means to live the spiritual life. It begins in your body. Your body holds all the wonderful senses, feelings, and thoughts that God uses to connect with you and invites you to a deeper encounter.
So where do you go from here? Well, it’s important to look at what happened with gentle eyes and unfold this desire that was not filled from your last relationship. It appears it has been neglected, but you also know a fleeting encounter will not suffice because it doesn’t have substance. It’s like choosing to eat fast food vs. fresh organic foods that is prepared with love. Your body will respond very differently and likewise with a touch. When we are starving you will most likely choose the wrong foods or eat too much feeling horrible afterwards. During these times, I’ve heard people say they need to go for a run or walk it off and isn’t this what you did?
Pay attention and begin to learn from your desire for a true embrace. You deserve to be nurtured and caressed. You will be satisfied as you awaken to the beauty of sincere and loving touch. There is nothing like it. There is a big difference and the choice is yours.
Pray that you will recognize love…for LOVE is looking for a true lover to embrace and hold.