Tag: divorced mom

Career

Cheers to trusting God and pursuing dreams

working mom, dream, careerI’ve been planning a career change for some time because Jonathon will be entering middle school in two years. This means limited options for daycare, namely, a teen center where the youth can hang out, do their homework, and get into mischief or be a latchkey kid. I may be pessimistic, but I don’t want that option for Jonathon. I want to be able to pick him up from school, take him to his extracurricular activities, and know exactly what he’s doing.

Working from home will give me the freedom to manage my work schedule, pursue my dream, and be creative. I’ve joined a community of other work-at-home moms and have been listening to a podcast about entrepreneurship and another one on how to live the life you want on my commute to work. I’m also building a community of women going through similar life stages in marriage, family, career, divorce, and health. So with that, here’s to a lifelong journey of inspiration, empowerment, and celebration. Cheers to 2015: a year of trusting God and of pursuing dreams!

Resources:

WAHM.com: an online resource for work-at-home moms

Entrepreneuronfire.com: a resource for entrepreneurs who want insights, tips, and resources along their journey

MissGuidedMom.com: an online resource for moms going through transitional stages in life like marriage, career, family, divorce, and health and wellness

Kate’s Take: an audio blog on how to live the life you want

Guiding lesson:

Eve, I am so happy you are pursuing your dreams.  You are showing your children the importance of caring for them and still making a difference by using your talents.  It’s never easy as a working mother.  So I would like to share Psalm 23 according to working moms.  Enjoy.

Love,
Grace

The Lord is my helper

I shall not control.
He makes me lie down my work for my children;
He leads me to find lost keys and toys.
He restores my sanity;
He guides me through homework that I can barely do
For His name’s sake.

Even though I try to balance career,
I fear no evil, for You are at my side;
Your wine and Your chocolate, they comfort me.
You prepare a table as I pick-up pizza for my hungry children;
You have blessed me with internet shopping;
My cart overflows.

Surely laundry, cooking and work will follow me all the days of my life,
Yet as a family we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Amen

Divorce

How sex can be like fast food or organic food

cupcakes, online dating, relationship, divorced mom, single mom,

Enjoying much deserved cupcakes after a disastrous evening

How exciting it is to be connecting with friends on Facebook! I met someone who I knew in sixth grade and visited him at his house for the first time several weeks ago. I have to say that was a big mistake, Grace. I didn’t think anything of it at first, but recalling the text messages and phone calls, I felt a bit giddy and nervous at the same time.

I haven’t dated since about 14 years when I first met Adam and, quite honestly, forgot what it’s like to be asked on a date, have a proper courtship, or meet someone on neutral ground. When I showed up at his house I simply thought it would be nothing more than a friend meeting a friend from a long time ago.

Oh, Grace, then my yearning for touch got the best of me. One thing led to another and after about a month of talking it led to a physical encounter. I don’t know what I expected to happen; certainly it was not what I expected. After realizing what had just occurred, I bolted out of the house. My sense of touch combined with fleeting emotions for a meaningful relationship became a combination for disaster for this divorced mom. I’m feeling a little sick to my stomach. I need a cupcake!

Guiding lesson:

Eve, the sweet embrace that our human condition desires heightens in the presence of possibility and hunger that exists between physical beings.  The need for touch is normal and is necessary for growth that begins from the day we are born.  Without it, hearts and souls shrivel up.  Without it, hearts and souls are unable to understand true intimacy.  Without it, God’s embrace is never felt.

So what happened that day when you innocently went to visit your friend?  When you look deep inside, was there any part of you that was considering the possibility of an encounter?  I ask this because many times the silent, hidden parts of our beings are more aware than the parts that are visible.  It is for this reason that taking time for prayer, meditation, and silence is important to understand the depth that exists underneath the tip of the iceberg only found in the deep waters of the soul.

What would you have discovered by sitting and being still before the meeting?  Would you have felt some stirring that was like a little child pulling on the parent’s clothes trying to get their attention?  Would you have discovered your “longing for touch” attempting to make itself known?  This is what it means to live the spiritual life.  It begins in your body.  Your body holds all the wonderful senses, feelings, and thoughts that God uses to connect with you and invites you to a deeper encounter.

So where do you go from here?  Well, it’s important to look at what happened with gentle eyes and unfold this desire that was not filled from your last relationship.  It appears it has been neglected, but you also know a fleeting encounter will not suffice because it doesn’t have substance.  It’s like choosing to eat fast food vs. fresh organic foods that is prepared with love.  Your body will respond very differently and likewise with a touch.  When we are starving you will most likely choose the wrong foods or eat too much feeling horrible afterwards.  During these times, I’ve heard people say they need to go for a run or walk it off and isn’t this what you did?

Pay attention and begin to learn from your desire for a true embrace.  You deserve to be nurtured and caressed.  You will be satisfied as you awaken to the beauty of sincere and loving touch.  There is nothing like it.  There is a big difference and the choice is yours.

Pray that you will recognize love…for LOVE is looking for a true lover to embrace and hold.

Love,
Grace

Health & Wellness

3 ingredients to kick start a healthier you

By Marisol Barrios, MSPA

I never had a problem with weight when I was in high school or college. Today, I find myself challenged to lose the weight ever since I gave birth to my sons. In the past few years I have tried to regain control over my thinking and commitment to feeling healthier by making better choices. The only weight that has come off is the one on my shoulders by letting go and giving them up to God. This month I’m attempting to take control again and who better than to ask my sister how she did it.

A working mom of three, ages 20, 11, and 7, Celia de la Loza, 44, went from a size 16 to a size 2 when she learned to create joy in her life after divorce. Having just purchased a home, adding the stressors of a mortgage, and being home alone on the weekends when her children visited their father, Celia found herself asking, “What am I going to do with my life?”

The defining moment came that day. “To lead a healthy life or a fit life there has to be a purpose: create as much authentic happiness in my life,” thought Celia.

Without many friends to lean on for support, she went back to what was meditative in her past–getting on the track and running. Endorphins, the chemical your body releases when you exercise, gave her a natural high, one that she was familiar with when she overcame severe depression two decades ago. While medication jump-started her exercise, running combined with prayer became her daily dosage.

Taking baby steps that have been known throughout history, Celia also decreased the amount of bread, French fries, and desserts while buying low-fat food items. She went from drinking sodas to diet soda and less-flavored coffee beverages.

Besides eliminating certain foods and beverages, someone planted the seed of strength training and she Googled it. She contacted a top female coach and fitness coach, whose testimonials of transformational stories of woman her age became an achievable outcome. “If [that woman] could do it, then I could do it,” Celia told herself.

Point of reference: Change the way you view food

“Food is fuel for your body,” says Celia, who received a customized nutritional plan according to her preferences from a local coach she contracted for six months. Changing the way she viewed food helped her stay focused to stave off cravings.

When her sugar levels were low she ate 12 almonds to boost her energy instead of picking up a sweet. To keep her metabolism in check throughout the day, she ate six small meals a day. Learning which foods to pair, weighing portions, and prepping on Sunday for the entire week helped her limit the size of her meals.

Shortly after, she developed arrhythmia, a problem with the rate or rhythm of the heartbeat. For three months, she focused on treating her condition and was at first cautious on how she exercised. Combined with reaching out for comfort food at a time she felt helpless caused her to gain a few pounds.

“There was no joy other than sipping a Caramel Macchiato,” says Celia, who started to run again and participate in a Facebook group that served as an external motivator. This time she discovered how to keep the weight off joyfully.

Freedom to choose: Inform yourself

The surmountable research she reviewed boosted a confidence in understanding her own body. She gained a sense of freedom from choosing what to eat only after becoming informed on how and why certain foods pairings could affect her body. Her nutrition was now based on how her body reacted to food.

“I was no longer a puppet of the food and bodybuilding industry marketing ploys. With all the research I’ve done, I now choose the foods I eat because I know what works for my body,” says Celia. “It’s amazing to feel empowered to eat what you want to eat and still lose weight or maintain it.”

Previously, she included meat in three of her six small meals. Now she eats meat once a day and has dropped dairy too. Instead of eliminating certain foods altogether she finds a suitable replacement to satisfy her cravings.

“God only gave me one body and it brings me joy when knowing that I am taking care of it,” Celia says, adding that whatever she takes care of, God will multiply. She is fully aware that how she “transmits this information to my children will impact how they transmit this information to their children. This is how it is multiplied.”

active, family, Celia de la Loza

Celia de la Loza encourages her family to stay active. Pictured here are her children, Anthony, Perla, and her youngest, Lucas.

Taking action: Be consistent and disciplined

One thing I can testify to is that my sister is doing the simple daily disciplines of exercising and eating her planned meals. Tae Bo® is an exercise she did when she conquered severe depression and returned to it again. Giving it her all every day is something she says keeps her consistent. “If I’m not completely maximizing [the program’s] effectiveness, then I’m only going to cheat myself.”

“Nobody’s around to judge me or evaluate me but myself,” she says. “It’s ultimately between God and me. God’s the only one who is watching what I eat and how I exercise.” Her relationship with God has guided her fitness journey. She asserts that God is her coach. “I do everything for him. He is using me as a messenger. I’ve been asked to live my life in a way that glorifies his kingdom: Live a life the way God has instructed me to and that’s the best way to fuel your body.” Sharing the information is what she does now as part of giving back.

At the end of the day, Celia’s journey is between God and herself. Every day counts. Whether it’s her heartbeat she hears in the morning, the breaths she takes when she runs, or the sounds of her children filling the rooms, she’s more than pleased “being here and even eating a cupcake. This is me baby stepping my journey.”

She came out of the dark hole and saw glimpses of joy. Today Celia looks at the glass half full, giving thanksgiving to God and bringing joy into her life through parenting, food empowerment, and exercising.

Inspired by Celia’s words and actions, I take a moment to pause and reflect. I am truly blessed surrounded by someone who is encouraging, generous with information, and a cheerleader to cheer me along my journey, baby stepping it just like she did.

——————————–

Mother of two sons, Marisol Barrios, a communications strategist, grace changer, and content creator, is still on a journey of self-discovery and learns many life lessons, primarily how wine and cupcakes can soothe her soul during challenging times.

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About the blog

After 12 years of marriage, Eve thought she had finally achieved the American dream with her husband, Adam. Investing in Adam’s career, she was the breadwinner, supporting him through medical school and residency program to become board certified. The real estate market was in their favor, allowing them to purchase an amazing home for themselves and their two children in a supportive community. Once he became employed as a physician, Adam found himself working long hours, coming home late and feeling exhausted by the day’s end. One day, Eve was perusing his social networking page, when she found Adam’s flirtatious  comments, segueing into Eve becoming her personal detective. After uncovering the reality behind Adam’s late night shifts and exhaustion, Eve makes the difficult choice of leaving her American dream and “liquidating her investment” by walking a different path. Newly divorced, Eve becomes a little misguided while on a journey of self-discovery. But with the help of her guardian angel, Eve untangles herself from delicate situations as a newfound bachelorette, a mom, a divorcee and a professional publicist. In a serendipitous quest to learn life lessons, Eve welcomes spiritual recovery, rest and restoration.

Follow our blog to learn more about Eve’s journey.