Tag: divorced mom

Career

5 Things Needed for Creativity

I met with our illustrator for the online magazine and I’m so excited for what’s to come. He is such an amazing and talented young man, full of creativity and insight for what is being accomplished with the publication. Grace, he really captures what I want to relay.

The illustrations really depict the brand I am trying to convey to readers. He understands the brand statement and the personality behind the publication. How wonderful it is to work with an illustrator in such a seamless manner. I know, I know, seems so unrealistic in this area. But you know what comes to mind, Grace? When things are just right, everything comes together: the people, the creativity, the ideas, the dream.

Off to play and create, again…

Guiding Lesson:

Eve, your online magazine sounds exciting.  You are blessed to find an illustrator who is very talented and has the ability to bring your ideas to life. This is wonderful that your paths have crossed . . . or was he sent to you by an angel?  Either way you will benefit from his talent and he will benefit from adding this project to his portfolio. Plus he is working with you, a dynamic and brilliant visionary!  I can’t wait for your online magazine to go live.

As you move towards this new beginning, you may want to evaluate what you need to stop doing, how to work smarter and what needs to be reprioritized so you can stay in the creative flow of grace. Creativity needs an environment that allows it to flourish.  Four things that come to mind to create this are: positivity, passion, persistence and play.  Oh, how can i forget adding a little bit of prayer 🙂

1) Positivity opens up your eyes to see possibility. Negativity stifles creativity and blocks possibilities.  Think of a great inventor. He or she was able to discover, in what most would consider a disaster, a great invention. Their positivity helped them see what others may have viewed as hopeless and a waste of time.

2) Passion is the catalyst that drives you to move forward on your idea. It is the initial spark that sets things in motion. This internal energy may begin with a little spark but under the right circumstances it will become fire that burns so bright to guide you when it gets dark.

3) Persistence is key to reach your goal. It is vital to the success of your project. Without this trait, you may begin to feel weary and give up on your idea or dream. It is darkest before the dawn breaks. Persistence will push you to break through the dawn into the light. It will lead you to a new beginning, a new birth for your idea or dream to come to life.

4)  Play is a mandatory ingredient to creativity.  This is your natural instinct from the time you’re born into the world.  You see the entire world as a playground.  Everything you can touch is a toy.  Your mind imagines and wonders into places only you can see.  Even learning is done through play.  Play is food that feeds the curiosity of your mind, heart and soul.

5)  Prayer (or meditation) is where your ideas are formed and is your garden where positivity, passion, persistence and play blossom.  It is in the quiet where you can release the negativity by opening up windows to let fresh air in.  This lifts your spirits to step into a more positive mindset where you can see with new eyes the possibilities all around you.  The quiet also helps you sift through and discover your true passions and desires in life.  During the day, you have a lot coming at you.  You need this time to determine the embers that sit in silence waiting for a little friction (which is the sifting process) and oxygen to ignite the flame. The quiet also infuses energy that strengthens you.  It is place where you can rest and refuel your mind, heart and soul so you can stay persistent on your journey.  Lastly, prayer connects you with the Divine Creator who has given you the playground for you to play and create with him.  In the quiet you can share your ideas and explore new ones.  Prayer is the playground for your mind, heart and soul.  Let them run free and enjoy the many wonderful adventures that God will take you on if you release everything.

These are exciting times.  You have everything you need.  So be positive, be passionate, be persistent, be playful and most of all be prayerful.  I promise, you will be an inspiration to the world. 

“Be still and know I am God.”  Psalm 46:10 (Bible)

 Love always,
Grace

Divorce

Lifting the Weight of Financial Matters

Adam agreed to sell the house. He decided to move into a small apartment after the house is sold until he could buy another one that suits his needs. Delighted with his decision, I quickly called our realtor and arranged to have our house listed for sale. Another weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Joint financial situations can cause headaches unless you act quickly to reduce them. Here are a few things I did immediately:

  1. Changed passwords to important accounts
  2. Terminated joint access to my checking account
  3. Obtained and reviewed my credit report
  4. Listed joint assets
  5. Negotiated division of property and assets

Now, I’ll just wait and see how the sale of our house will do during this real estate climate.

Guiding Lesson:

Eve, joint financial matters can weigh you down and cause bitterness and frustration. It’s the area that some will use as a means of power, control and even revenge–doesn’t sound like any fun at all.  

Now, as I listen to the steps you’re taking, it appears you are focused in getting things done without any unnecessary drama. I commend you for seeing and having the right focus. It’s about unraveling the past, untying the knot and making a final withdrawal.  Those who are so caught up in the power struggle don’t realize that there are no winners, only wounded soldiers. I refer to them as soldiers because it becomes a battlefield where blood, sweat and tears are shed. 



Eve, I toast to you for staying present to what’s important and acting with grace. Here is my rendition of Jesus’ Beatitudes from the Gospel of Matthew 5:3-12(known as blessings) for all those that find themselves dealing with financial frustrations when getting divorced.



Love always,

Grace 



Read Pearls of Grace to learn more about Grace’s pearls of wisdom

Divorce

Playing at Work

There’s no time like the present. Yes, Grace, the Giver of Time gave me the present and I’m not wasting any time. Jonathan and David asked me what I do when they go to sleep and I said, “I work.” I work during the day, I take care of them in the evening and when they go to sleep, I plan and work my dream.

Someone once said, “Plan your work, then work your plan.” I have always believed in planning and strategizing. Now, I plan and strategize my dream and at night, I work my dream. It’s such an exciting time to put down ideas to paper then executing them daily.

The present is filled with moments I relish like no other time. Sometimes I catch myself staying still, looking around, and simply smiling. Life is good. Merlot is calling my name.

Guiding Lesson:

Eve, let’s drink to the initial thought that leads to a plan and gives birth to a dream. How wonderful! 



Let’s play a little with the choice of words that you used. You work during the day and then you continue to work at night. I know it is on your dream, however, wouldn’t it be fun if you didn’t have to work?  I don’t see you dream as work. It is an extension of you.  It is an expression of what your soul cannot say. You are a vessel, an instrument that is submitting to Divine creativity.  Does this sound like work?  Do you want it to be work or are you okay allowing God to create beautiful art?  Which sounds more inviting and provides space for fun, for living and for being a part of God’s never-ending creation story?  The latter will probably stir up ideas and energy while work will eventually have to retire. 



Here’s another thing I want to share that I recently heard. When top leaders of organizations as well as various types of artists were asked if they were happy with what they did, their responses were very interesting. The leaders liked the thrill and excitement. The artists had more difficult time answering because they saw what they were doing as a part of themselves. They were not doing art; the art was being done unto them. 



The other difference was that the top leaders couldn’t wait to retire and find something where they could express themselves even if it didn’t make much money like the artists.  Now I want to ask how many artists do you know can’t wait to retire from art and go work for a corporation?  Probably no one because they are living not working. They are being expressed through their gift and it blesses them. Even if they struggle, they do not struggle to live life and bring more beauty into the world through their gift.

So what word would you like to substitute the word “work” that is temporary and find a word that lasts and links the present to the future?  For when you are on your deathbed, your work will not be the essence people will remember you by, but for all the love, beauty and caring you shared. This lives on. This is what will be remembered. 



Why is it?  Could it be as children we always knew we were meant to play not work. Children don’t need to learn to play, they need to learn how to work. In fact, there is still a sense of awe at the great pieces from centuries long ago.  Imagine if you got paid to express yourself and play all day because of who you simply are and for how you show up in the world?

Eve, Want to check out the playground after the glass of Merlot?

Grace, I would love to go out and play, but after working all day, “playing in the evening,” and then sipping  a glass of red wine, I’m ready for bed. :::yawn::: I think Merlot knows what to do to get me to bed.

Motherhood

Helping Children Know Their Worth

As children we’re taught to respect our elders, parents, teachers, the laws, rules, etc. I remember growing up and my mom saying, “Respect yourself so that others learn to respect you.” Although I might have been taught this, at times, I think growing up as a girl I saw contradictions. I was seen, not heard. I asked too many questions when I was supposed to be obedient. I was asked to do just as I’m told.

Projecting those contradictions in marriage or relationships, I can see how sometimes I didn’t assert the respect I deserved. I compromised my sense of self worth, respect and equality in relationships. I nurtured Adam’s worth, fully respected him and lifted him on a pedestal.

Today, I find myself saying to my children, “Respect yourself so that others learn to respect you.” (Oh, no, have I become my mother?) I listen to them, might even negotiate once in a while when they suggest alternative resolutions that make sense. I explain what their roles are in our family and why I ask them to cooperate in the morning. Jonathan and David ask so many questions and I just answer them to the best of my ability. (Inside, I sometimes cringe—another question? Now, I know how my parents felt…heehee.)

I am asserting my respect so they respect me. In return, I honor them as individuals worthy of receiving the same level of respect. Children and adults alike, each one of us deserves respect and we should encourage each other to be worthy of what we have within us, gifts that have been given to us to share with others.

Guiding Lesson:

Eve, I commend you for placing a value on respect.  It is very important today.  This value helps bridge gaps and promotes understanding and forgiveness in society.  It doesn’t mean you need to agree with the other, it just means you see how precious and worthy they are.

You are right in saying that respect must start with you.  This is a great gift to teach your children that you respect them by first respecting yourself.  Modeling and expecting respect for yourself allows your children to learn how to treat you through their words and actions. What’s wonderful is that their behavior will spill over when they play with their friends and family as well as when they are around adults.  The best part is that they will also want to be treated like this and expect it from others.

Another way to instill this is by making sure you recognize what they are doing, saying and the choices they make.  It’s not always easy for children or adults so a little acknowledgement goes a long way.  When they stumble, think of ways to help them get back on track by having them apologize if someone was hurt, rectify the situation or discuss the issue so they can learn and understand the impact of not being respectful.  Remember that these are teaching moments and simply taking something away does not increase your child’s awareness of showing respect the next time.  As you know a bad decision can be a way to grow in wisdom, humility and perseverance.  So there is no need to beat anyone up because everyone slips.  And when this happens, stretch out your arms to create a path back to where your children know they are loved, feel safe and most of all they matter because they are respected.

So go ahead and own it, show it and share it.  You’d be surprised how a little respect for self and others helps “the soul know its worth.”  Now this is priceless!

Love,
Grace