Stress consumes my mental state of mind and my body absorbs the side effects: belly fat. Ugh! I feel like a yo-yo when it comes to working out. I do so well for six weeks or so then I work on a project and leave behind the exercise routine.

I made great strides in losing inches and slimming down a size and now, I’ve gained it back! My belly fat chuckles. My heart skips a beat when it sees another cupcake. And I just need another glass of Merlot for times like these. :::sigh:::

I haven’t quite mastered how to make exercise a part of my daily routine. By the time I come home, I am sometimes too tired after dinner to do anything else other than write. I have to let my dinner settle and by then, it’s time for the boys to go to bed. Any good ideas or should I just satisfy my belly fat and delve into another Red Velvet cupcake? That sounds really good :::chuckling::: (Belly fat quietly laughs)

Guiding Lesson:

Eve, I agree with you that the eating a cupcake or drinking a glass of Merlot sounds more appealing than exercising or eating healthy.  To eat or not to eat.  To exercise or not to exercise.  What a dilemma!  The good news is that everyone has areas in their lives that they struggle in and areas they excel and have tremendous discipline.  So you are very normal. 

The areas of weakness, struggle or pain are usually found when you have two desires that yield very different outcomes.  Your desire for red velvet cupcakes and merlot has different results than your desire to exercise and eat healthy.  Hmmm…so what’s a girl to do?  Here are some questions to think about:       

Align Desires to Values

  • Can two contradictory desires really exist?
  • Is it because what you truly value is aligned to one more than the other? 
  • If so, is it even possible to even pursue the desire with the lesser value or do you need to let it go?        

Evaluate Success Criteria

  • How convenient is it to fulfill your desire? 
  • Is there a cost associated with it? 
  • How much time is required? 
  • Is the end result worth delaying gratification for future success?
  • What changes in your surrounding environment do you need to address? 
  • Will the people around you support you on this journey? 
  • Are there specific people who have a lot of influence in your life that need to understand and are bought-in to your efforts in order for you to succeed?
  • What process do you use now to solve that problem?
  • What other options can you consider?       
  • Why did you select the option you did?        
  • What do you like about the option?        
  • What don’t you like?
  • What frustrates you when you are trying to solve this problem? 
  • Do you have a plan to implement the new options? 
  • Do you believe your goal is achievable? 
  • Is this what you really want?

Make the Change (from book “Instant Influence” by Michael Pantalon, PhD)

  • Based on the above, define the problem clearly.           
  • Why do you care about solving it?  What’s in it for you?        
  • How often do you encounter this problem?
  • How ready are you to make the change on a scale of 1 – 10 (1 = “Not Ready at All” and 10 = “Totally Ready”)?
  • What would it take to raise the number on the scale?        
  • Imagine you have made the change, what are the positive outcomes results of having made the change?
  • Why is the outcome important to you?
  • What is the next step, if any?
  • On a scale of 1 – 10, where are you wanting to take action and making your change now?
  • What would it take to raise your score by 2 points and positively enhance the quality of your experience?

Well, Eve, I hope you have been able to discover your true desires through this process to focus on making the change you want.  It takes time, commitment and perseverance, which you have. Don’t be in any rush. Learn and allow this to transform not only your body, but your mind and spirit. 

Love always,

Posted by Marisol Barrios as MissGuided Mom's "Eve"

After 12 years of marriage, I found myself suddenly divorced with two sons to raise. Inspired by life's events, I decided to create "Eve" and tell her story, a story that will resonate with many women. "Eve" will take you through the good, the bad, and the ugly of marriage, motherhood, career and divorce. After numerous delicate situations, she decides to surrender her life to a higher being and welcomes her guardian angel who teaches her life lessons. Join "Eve," her guardian angel, and friends as she takes you through an unimaginable journey of self-discovery. (Pictured: Caterina Clarke as MissGuided Mom's Guardian Angel "Grace" and Marisol Barrios as MissGuided Mom's "Eve")

One Comment

  1. What I have found that has helped with this life issue is to keep it simple. Focus on the goal consistently day by day. When you go off track – get back in the game. The hard part is being aware of going off track and wanting to get back in the game! That is the struggle. The value is that in our heart we know our intent and that is good. So let “self-awareness” and “intent” bring you to action on your goal(s). Practice, practice, practice….it ain’t easy…. from the original yo-yo man 🙂



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