This Fourth of July was Adam’s holiday with the boys. When he came to pick them up there was a sense of freedom I felt, a taste of independence I relish when it comes. For most of the time, I have 95 pounds of weight that I carry around that requires careful attention, supervision, and fuel. (With all this strength conditioning, why can’t I lose some weight? :/) But most of all, these two little boys are given my absolute love, nurturing and admiration.
They are my joy, my one true loves. (I can have two loves, you know.) Just the other day, Jonathan asked me, “Mom, are you happy with your sons?” Oh, Grace, I had to ask him three times what he said. I thought I didn’t hear him correctly. I just swept him in my arms and said, “Of course, I am. Both you and your brother are my life, my angels.”
Every day they are with me, I nurture the best I know how. I’m open to listening, learning, and doing. I admire them for being brave, strong and yet compassionate through our divorce.
I’m so lucky in love to have been given my boys! What a blessing from God and much gratitude does go out to God—and Adam too. I cant’ deny he had a part in giving me my boys–and my independence, too!
Cheers to Adam for my Independence Day weekend—in more ways than one!
Eve, sounds like you had a great 4th of July. The sweetness of independence is something to cherish and celebrate once in a while, for America and for you.
Freedom is a wonderful gift, isn’t it? It is like opening up a door to a spacious place or discovering a land that is vast with many possibilities. There is a feeling of wanting to run free, dance with abandonment and laugh uncontrollably. Very powerfully to live out loud where nothing holds you back, even if it is just for little while. It rejuvenates your spirit and sets it in motion to soar.
I know how much you love your boys. And I love the endearing questions they ask. This incredible love you have for them does not diminish because you, at times, need some independence. In fact, the space allows love to grow and the bond to expand beyond physicality. This space creates an even stronger connection because they learn that mom loves them when she is around and when she is away. This helps build their confidence in true love. It is not something that exists only when the person is in the room but beyond the moment. You are united in spirit. So now space is not a barrier or something to be feared. You learn the expansiveness of love, outside of time and space, which connects you to God who cannot be seen physically.
Yes, Eve, you deserve some independence. Hope you allowed the fireworks within yourself to ignite the world around you with more love. Your boys will benefit from the remnants of this when you pick them up. They will see your face light up because of the deep joy and love you have for them.