Grace, you said the place to start is creating space to listen to me.  You believe that I have a lot of wisdom and have the key to work through the depression that will lead me to new life.  I agree. I’ve always been a smart cookie (why am I making references to food?). And it’s time I do something for myself. Like you said, “it’s time to schedule and make [me] a priority.”

Oftentimes, when we are in a marriage we tend to take care of everyone else except ourselves. We feed and nourish everyone else and forget to sustain ourselves in ways that are healthy, fit and emotionally balanced. Important to taking care of our families is the ability to take care of oneself first. We do need to schedule time for ourselves and make oneself a priority. This takes time, an ability to change our perspectives and the willingness to transform for a lifetime.

I remember last year you said the transformation process is very similar to the wine process, a spirit that moves me just like the Holy Spirit—well, maybe in a different way. Regardless, I feel like I am in the clarification and stabilization stage. I am filtering the insoluble and toxic matter so I can be placed in a barrel for aging. I know it’s my time to renew, recommit and restore my inner self so the beauty that is within can burst into song. (And you know how much I love to karaoke!) I don’t think I’ll wait for the bottling process to have a taste of Merlot. Cheers!

Guiding Lesson: 

Cheers to YOU, Eve!  In fact, I’ll have a glass with you.  Why not?  I can’t resist toasting to an “Amazing You.”

This is your love story and it starts by taking up space and saying, “I matter.”  Your commitment to loving yourself teaches others around you to love you.  Think about it, if you leave yourself at the door, then others will do the same.  However, if you love who you are by caring, being kind and taking time, then you will not allow others to do anything less. You will even have more love to love those that are difficult in your life because you have now filled yourself up with love.  It is like making wine. Whatever you fill the barrel with is what will flow when you pour it in a bottle.  It’s by loving yourself where you are so that love can flow like red wine to those around you.

You might be thinking, “How can this be when your world is not in order?” Let’s face it– it’s a little chaotic and maybe unorganized.  What better place to bring love into your life!  This reminds me of what the author Richard Rohr wrote in his book, A Spirituality of Subtraction: 

“Jesus commanded us to love, so we know it is not just a feeling, since you cannot command feelings. Love is a decision.

Jesus did not say:

When you get healed, love;
When you grow up, love; when you feel loving, love;
When you get it together and have dealt with all your mother/father/husband/children wounds, then you are able to love.
No, the commandment for all of us is to LOVE now.”

And Love begins with YOU.  I think it’s time for another toast.  Merlot anyone?

Love, Grace

Posted by Marisol Barrios as MissGuided Mom's "Eve"

After 12 years of marriage, I found myself suddenly divorced with two sons to raise. Inspired by life's events, I decided to create "Eve" and tell her story, a story that will resonate with many women. "Eve" will take you through the good, the bad, and the ugly of marriage, motherhood, career and divorce. After numerous delicate situations, she decides to surrender her life to a higher being and welcomes her guardian angel who teaches her life lessons. Join "Eve," her guardian angel, and friends as she takes you through an unimaginable journey of self-discovery. (Pictured: Caterina Clarke as MissGuided Mom's Guardian Angel "Grace" and Marisol Barrios as MissGuided Mom's "Eve")

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