Coffee. Merlot. Brie cheese. Crackers. And the occasional comfort food, cupcakes. These food items have been my staple for nine weeks now. I wake up after a restless night to a warm cup of coffee that takes me through the morning. I forget to eat lunch and snacks. I was a snack girl–two to three times a day. While my children eat dinner, I decide to join them by eating a small portion of brie cheese and crackers with a glass of Merlot. I realize this is not a nutritious menu for a day, but it’s the only things I can eat and drink. My stomach can barely tolerate these items. I am consumed by anxiety and have situational depression. Grace, as you know, I have gone to see a therapist who has prescribed me some medication.
I know eating this way is not healthy and, at the same time, I am delighted at the outcome. I have lost weight–two dress sizes. I know it isn’t the best way to lose weight, which is why I am committed to changing my eating habits as of today. Not only am I making a concerted effort to eat healthier, I am working out. I am exercising at least four days a week. I really am trying to get my head straight after it’s been spinning for weeks. It’s amazing what can happen when you find out your spouse has been using Facebook as a platform for infidelity. Okay, so Facebook, obviously is not to blame; I actually thank them for discovering the truth.
Although the new diet wasn’t intentional, I am certainly excited to see the outcome. I do feel better and hope that this is the beginning of a new chapter in my marriage. Adam and I are still trying to work things out. Yet, Adam doesn’t seem to be too remorseful and that’s a big problem. I hope things will turn around quickly.
Guiding Lesson: Oh, Eve. The pain of infidelity leaves deep wounds. I know Adam has hurt you, but I hope you will be committed to caring for yourself and eat healthier to build strength. There is no quick turn around after a betrayal. And if he is not showing remorse, you will need more than just strength; you will need your faith, your trust and hope in God. Nothing else and no one else will be able to fill this hole inside your soul.
I know you realize that there is nothing you can to do change the situation or Adam. The only control you have is to do your inner work. As you do this, your subconscious will pull those in who are also doing their work. If you betray yourself and abandon the woundedness within, your subconscious will attract another deep wounded individual who will help you relive your story of betrayal. The best possible thing you can do is to uncover who you are, what is your truth and then live it!
If you dig deep and do the hard work, those around you, who also want to heal, will recognize this within you and be encouraged to be remorseful, seek healing, ask for forgiveness and live a life of truth. Those who don’t want to do the work will put you down because you will be reflecting a light that blinds those who are accustomed to the dark.
Your situation is like the miners from Chile. They were betrayed by the very thing that they depended on to support their livelihood. They found themselves trapped underground and not sure if they would survive this ordeal. Like the miners, it will take time. There are people who will help lift you up out of the darkness with or without Adam. Your ability to be lifted up into the light is based on your willingness and intentionality to live life as Eve was meant to live. Eve, no need to wait any longer. It’s time to begin uncovering your true identity. Don’t be surprised to find a magnificent beautiful woman waiting to reconnect to herself. She’s been there for quite sometime. Well, begin the excavation. I’ll be here to support and guide you through the process.