What joy it was to go to Napa and go wine tasting with Adam! I fell in love with Merlot and the abundant flavor in each tasting. From hints of oak and spice, to berry and plum, each winery offered a different tasting to tease my palate. The hue of Merlot is also rich and vibrant. Paired with hors d’oeuvres, steak, or fudge, Merlot can be great company. But enough of Merlot, I was with great company and on my honeymoon with Adam.
The honeymoon literally lasted about four days, but our “honeymoon” in marriage lasted about one year. Although I moved in with him prior to getting married, somehow having the status made official on a piece of paper changes things. With eyes wide open, sometimes the pet peeves or the habits that we have override our love for each other. Others might say these are red flags waving in the air, but we just lift our hands above our head and surrender. In other words, I kept my eyes shut. I figured marriage is about compromise in addition to communication and commitment. And compromise, did I ever!
Guiding Lesson:
Eve, I absolutely love your description of Merlot that I, myself, forgot Merlot is just wine and not your husband. I almost feel like I am falling in love with this tantalizing, mystical drink. I always wonder what it tastes like. Then I get a dose of reality when you begin talking about Adam and I realize you are married to Adam not Merlot.
Well, Eve, does it work minimizing your sense of sight while increasing your sense of taste? It reminds me of people who are born blind or become blind and how their senses are heightened and more acute. Is this what you’re doing? Is this what you really want? Like Dr. Phil would ask, “How is this working for you?.” But Dr. Phil is not assigned to be your guardian angel, I, your beloved Grace, am assigned to you.
The other thing that struck me is how you said that marriage is about compromise, communication and commitment. Eve, you really have compromised yourself by keeping him from gazing into your soul. You know the eyes are the windows to your soul. Is this the type of compromising you think helps a marriage? It sounds like you are trying to keep someone out in hopes of staying in the safe zone (or so you think it’s safe)?
Now let’s move to communication. How does this work? If your eyes are shut and Adam is not allowed into your soul, how can you have an intimate conversation? To take this a step further, how is it possible to commit to someone who is on the outside and not a part of your heart? Eve, please, I beg you, open you eyes. If I remember correctly, you are not blind, right? Can I be lovingly blunt and tell you to stop controlling and start living? It is time to open those beautiful brown eyes and become aware of the love waiting for you. You can not receive it, nor will a piece of paper guarantee it. Believe it or not, you can have what you have with Merlot, with another person. I recommend you start with your husband. : ) But you need to surrender to your senses like you do with Merlot.
Imagine allowing yourself to taste, see, touch and smell the love that is waiting for you. It won’t be perfect, but neither is every bottle of Merlot. There are times and years that you will have wished you purchased a Pinot Noir or wave a magic wand and have George Clooney appear (sometimes I wish I could do that). Admit it Eve, you have allowed Merlot to enter the depths of your soul. Wouldn’t it be divine to connect with another human being in this manner? So I dare you Eve, to taste and see the goodness of love. This is how you will know if what you have with Adam is real. You owe it to yourself and to Adam.
Until tomorrow, your beloved Grace
MissGuidedMom 