Getting through the numbness of divorce

What an unexpected turn of events! Getting married literally takes an hour of wedding ceremonial rituals while getting divorced takes five minutes in front of the judge. Adam did not appear at the divorce hearing scheduled for us. I attended the hearing with my attorney. The judge asked a few cathartic questions. I answered, realizing that this was the end, the end of a 12-year chapter, the end of my family of four, the end of what I thought would be forever.

After receiving a copy of the divorce decree, I left with emptiness in the pit of my stomach. I walked down the hallway, voices from the strangers lined to see the judge filled my head, and hundreds of memories flashed before me. All feeling was gone. I was numb. I didn’t feel like getting a manicure or pedicure, treating myself on this “independence day.” I just wanted to curl up in bed.

I did just that and cried myself to sleep.

Guiding Lesson:

Eve,

Tough day… There are no words that can change the feelings you are going through. As you know, the only thing you can do is to go through it. You can’t escape this, though I know you wish you could. No magic trick to take away the hurt. So may I sit crawled up next to you? It’s my wordless prayer for you. There are no words at this time and yet your tears are saying more in their wordless stream on your face. Why don’t we just be as is and listen to the following song?

“My Wordless Prayer” by Craig Courtney

My words lie still and lifeless as dust upon the sand
I can no longer voice one request or one demand
My cup of tears is empty, I can no longer cry
My lips have fallen silent
My prayer is but a sigh

Spirit, come and rest your ear upon my heart
Oh come and hear my wordless prayer
My silent plea, and take them far away from me
Take them from this heart of mine,
To the Father’s heart of divine
Speak in tones unknown to man
That God may hear and understand

My voice is weak from calling
To you both night and day
How long will you be silent?
Why do you turn away?