I’ve been thinking about what commitment means in marriages and relationships. When I reflect upon the word, I immediately think about the loyalty, duty or pledge we have for the other person. When I remember what commitment meant to me in marriage, I truly encompassed the meaning. I was loyal to Adam until the very end of our relationship. I took my vows seriously, I was loyal to him and his family, and I pledged to support him in sickness and in health. I had a duty to him and our family—to stand by him through thick and thin, no matter what the cost because we were one unit.
Grace, there’s another facet to commitment that sometimes, we, as wives or partners, forget. We have a commitment to ourselves—to better ourselves, to grow, to take a journey of the soul and discover what more is in our dreams, to envision a life greater for the family. I remember having had a family vision and dreams for myself, but to put into practice what I wanted was challenging for me. I didn’t have Adam’s commitment to support me as I had stood by him. And I did not stand up for myself—I lacked the voice I needed to make myself a priority.
In relationships and marriage, a commitment to ourselves is just as important as the loyalty we have for our partner. And, Grace, if I think about the number one commitment in our lives, I know I should be putting God first. God has given me the strength to do all things. With Him, all things are possible. His everlasting and unconditional commitment to me is overwhelming and unbelievable at times. When times are tough and I am challenged, I sometimes overlook the power of faith and God. In my quest for rest, restoration, and recovery, I know I can count on God’s commitment to me. He will stand by me and guide me with His grace to make better choices along my journey.
With that said, Grace, I think I’ll drink from the Cup of Life. Merlot is waiting for me.
Guiding Lesson: Eve, you have been doing a lot of thinking about the commitment you made to Adam and recognized it has been one-sided. I’m glad you didn’t stop here and wallow in this realization of the obvious but took it deeper into your soul. Here you discovered that you forgot to make a commitment to yourself. This then lead you to notice the forgotten promise that belonged to God who has continued to honor his commitment regardless of your reciprocation. What a wonderful place to be!!! A place of awakening and openness to receive God’s grace and the ability to respond whole-heartedly with your new “yes” to him.
Before you take action, sit here for a while. Commitment should never be rushed or forced. Meditate on the word commitment. This word evokes a wide range of thoughts, emotions and actions. Here are a few questions to ask yourself: What is stirring within you when you think of this word? What feelings arise as you contemplate on it? Are there certain thoughts, fears, concerns that need to be addressed? Does your old story hold you back from creating a new story? What do you need to let go so that you can embrace a healthy form of commitment for God, for you and for others? What is the first commitment you want to make to God and yourself? How will you honor this? What is the driving force or passion that helps your stay devoted to your commitment?
Commitment is a form of being fully present to the one you commit to. When it is healthy it will be mutual, reciprocal and it opens up new possibilities to experience a deeper sense of self and of life. You move from living on a superficial level to an awaken sense of the other and yourself. You unearth all that is beautiful and all that is not so beautiful and discover how loveable you and the other are, warts and all. This is rich soil to bear forth new life and possibly a song or two.
Well, Eve, continue your commitment to your journey for it will amaze you. This will expose you to life and all of its adventures. You may have lost what you believed was yours, but in the process have found your true north, your voice and your authentic self. The stars are aligned to guide you in fulfilling your commitment to yourself and to your God. And know that I will meet you and commit to you every step of the way.