While I can’t guarantee that the divorce will be equally amicable, I can ensure that I will do my best to work towards one.

Don’t Take Things Personally
Okay, so some may think that this is impossible since Adam did cheat on me, but deep down I know his infidelity is not my issue. At the beginning I transformed my appearance and for a finale, got the twins; however, I’m truly glad of all my physical transformations. I feel happier, prettier, sexier, and more alive as a woman. I can thank Adam for that. While I have chosen to take the steps toward divorce, I can also choose to not take things personal. He made certain choices that can lead to unwanted consequences. I simply am setting boundaries for myself now. And I’m glad.

Be Grateful for the Blessings
I choose to be grateful for the many chapters with Adam. We had 12 wonderful years in marriage, two amazing angels, and one love that has come to an end. I am thankful for the lessons I learned, the love he did give me, the beautiful boys I have, the person I’m becoming while experiencing this new chapter. I will continue to be grateful for what I have, what I can give, and what I will be blessed with.

Play Fair and Negotiate
As we know, divorce can be extremely expensive. I don’t want to fall prey to fighting for property, assets, finances or other meaningless items. We make choices in life and we can be purposeful in our intentions to lead a life of integrity, compassion, and humility. I plan to negotiate all aspects of our divorce to reduce the amount of money we both have to spend on attorneys. God help us!

Cheers to having a strong mind, surprise blessings and playing fair! This deserves my friend, Merlot…would you like a glass, Grace?

Guiding Lesson: Eve, I would love a glass, please!  I can’t pass up a moment to celebrate your incredible commitment to a journey of transformation on all levels. This is a commendable, a courageous and a compassionate journey.  I might even have two glasses.

The more I think about it, wine is the perfect drink for this occasion. The process is very similar to the transformation process.  First you have the harvest where you pick the grapes that are physiologically ripe and sort out the rotten ones as well as the ones not yet ripe enough.  This is similar to the initial shock of when you found out about Adam.  Your life was turned upside down and you needed to sort out what was good and what was rotten.  Based on looking at your life with new eyes, you now have decided to continue the journey of transformation.

After the harvest it is time for the crushing and the pressing.  With each crush or press, the grapes willingly release their singular identity in order to be transformed into the most mystical, magical and enchanting beverage of wine.  This stage will be similar to the challenges you will go through as you work on your resolutions.  The difficult trials ahead will require you to let go of your false self, ego and dependencies in order for your real essence to emerge. This is like a mystical reunion with your true self after you deal with the pressures and stressors of life.

Well, if you have make it this far, it will be time to ferment.  This is a time to be still and allow the grape juice to transform into a delightful wine.  You will begin to see this as you become more comfortable and honor the real “You” who is now rooted in God.

Then we move to clarification.  This is process where this new beverage can be filtered and then ready to be racked and moved into another vessel for bottling or aging.  This will be a time to recommit and renew your vows to yourself so you can continue the journey with new eyes and a new song.

And finally, the wine is bottled.  This will allow you to take what you learn from this process and share it with those around you just like any good bottle of wine.  You will know you are at this stage because you don’t fear the aging process.  You will see it as a time for the beautiful woman within you who holds lots of wisdom become open and willing to bless the world with her true spirit.  And isn’t wine considered a spirit?

So, Eve, let’s enjoy this glass of Merlot together as you embark on this adventure where new life, true peace and true love are waiting for you with open arms. Salute!

Grace

Posted by Marisol Barrios as MissGuided Mom's "Eve"

After 12 years of marriage, I found myself suddenly divorced with two sons to raise. Inspired by life's events, I decided to create "Eve" and tell her story, a story that will resonate with many women. "Eve" will take you through the good, the bad, and the ugly of marriage, motherhood, career and divorce. After numerous delicate situations, she decides to surrender her life to a higher being and welcomes her guardian angel who teaches her life lessons. Join "Eve," her guardian angel, and friends as she takes you through an unimaginable journey of self-discovery. (Pictured: Caterina Clarke as MissGuided Mom's Guardian Angel "Grace" and Marisol Barrios as MissGuided Mom's "Eve")

2 Comments

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Caterina/Marisol, Caterina/Marisol. Caterina/Marisol said: Three Resolutions to an Amicable Divorce: http://wp.me/pYj2o-6k […]

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  2. […] remember last year you said the transformation process is very similar to the wine process, a spirit that moves me just like the Holy Spirit—well, maybe in a different way. Regardless, I […]

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