Respecting Oneself by Squashing the Past

According to the Meriam-Webster Dictionary, respect means to show high or special regard for someone; the quality or state of being esteemed. How important is respect in life, to oneself, to others, in marriage, in our relationships, for the planet and in everything we do? Grace, I never really pondered the quality of respect. I personally thought I had earned it among friends, colleagues, family, and in my marriage. But when I really think about the respect I have for myself, I sigh with the notion that I lost my sense of respect when I allowed someone to hurt me and betray me the way Adam did.

Sometimes respect is given immediately. As children we are taught to respect our elders, period. We are taught to respect authority, laws, and religious figures. Then, there are other times when we earn someone’s respect by our actions. Evident by what we do daily and who we are to them, they acknowledge the value in us. I thought Adam respected me in this manner, but I think back about how our relationship began. I did not respect myself in the manner that is fitting for a young lady, not giving myself the due respect in the relationship from the very beginning.

Grace, I need to remember that I need to respect myself for others to respect me. A simple lesson verbalized so early on in our childhood development and one that was forgotten as quickly as it was spoken. I decided this is a good learning lesson, once again, so I decided to treat myself to a Pumpkin Spice Soy Latte from Starbucks to “squash” the past and awaken myself to a new journey. Pack your bags, Grace, it’s going to be a long journey.

Guiding Lesson: Eve, I’ve been ready since you were born to take this journey with you. Since I travel light, very light, I am free to go anywhere with you.  And I love that we are starting with R.E.S.P.E.C.T. in regards to how you treat the woman in the mirror.  This is going back to the genesis of who you are. The place where you learned from those around you what this means.

I ask you now to go stand in front of a mirror.  Undress yourself.  Look at the woman who stares back at you.  Look into her eyes.  Continue to look until you are able to see into her soul and the journey that has taken her to this place where you stand.  If she could talk, what would she say to you?  Who helped build a strong sense of respect for who she is?  Who began chipping away or who has hijacked a sense of respect for herself?  When did she buy into this idea and began doing it to herself which justified and condoned others’ treatment of her?