So this is how it feels to be abandoned emotionally. I’m sitting up at 2:00 a.m. for the second night in a row because I can’t go back to sleep. Thoughts race through my mind as I view Adam’s social networking page and see what is happening right in front of me. He is flirting with two women on his page. He has no idea that I can view what he posts on someone else’s page and vice versa. He should stick to what he knows: taking vital signs in the clinic, not virtually.
I have been through so much with this man. My head is spinning. Immediately, I want to file for divorce, yet my heart does its magic of doing what it can to stay intact. Adam’s escaping from a home that he made with two children and me. I thought everything was fine. Yes, we’ve had our ups and downs just like any married couple. I supported him through medical school and his residency program so he could fulfill his lifelong dream of becoming a physician. I set aside my dreams to help him realize his. The children came into our lives and we focused on them and forgot about each other. I was content and oblivious to anything different in our lives. Now I need to find out, why?
Guiding Lesson: So why do women give up their entire being to nurture the people in their lives? They give, give, until there is nothing left. They go through the motions not realizing that their Spirit has died. It’s like seeing a vase break in slow motion and ignoring that it broke. However, each step you take continues to cut deeper and cause wounds from the broken glass (the reality) you refuse to see and clean up off the floor. Don’t you believe you deserve to live life to the fullest? Don’t you believe you were created for joy? You don’t have to be strong. You just need to wake up and find the support you need to create a life filled with abundant love. This will not only allow you to soar and be the woman you are created to be, but will also inspire your children to have the courage to face the truth/the reality of life and not be afraid of it. Remember, courage is fear that said its prayers and chooses to believe that truth will lead to joy. You are created for JOY! Believe, have faith and now go and live each moment with eyes wide open for it is in this state that you will be able to receive the blessings and graces that were always meant to be yours.