I took vacation while the boys vacationed with their father. I had plans of organizing, writing and getting into the routine of exercising. Can you guess what I did instead, Grace? NOTHING, absolutely nothing.
When the time came to organize, I packed a bag and left for a few days. I ventured out to wine country and explored the vineyards that were calling my name. The wineries greeted me with open arms and the glass was ready to be sipped. When the time came to write, I lifted my fork and savored the delicious food in front of me. Each plate was an adventure to my palate. When the time came to exercise, I walked from one restaurant to another or my fingers searched for the nearest cupcake shop on Foursquare.
Deep down I needed the relaxation and time away from everything. And yet, I get in the funk of realizing I did nothing I had planned on doing. The goals I set for myself are pushed back and while I delay on the work I need to do, my disdain for the current situation increases.
Eve, I know how you feel. Summer is a tough season to get excited about what you “should or have” to do versus what you “want or like” to do. These appear to be in opposition to one another. Maybe they are and yet maybe they’re not.
Before I dive into this, I have to admit that as your guarding angel, I too, feel like I need a break. We all need to recharge and unplug. Living in a world filled with constant demands, never-ending “To Do” lists and the stress of deadlines can really stop you from living your life. It can be draining to the point of forgetting who you are, the true gifts you are meant to share and the ability to connect with others and God.
Eve, the work and demands will always be there and maybe, just maybe, it’s simply not time to get serious, focused and driven to accomplish your goals. This rendezvous might be what you needed before you enter into the role of task master. By stepping into life, your focus may become clearer and you may accomplish more because you are refreshed. So it’s about balancing what you should or have to do w/what you want and like to do. Both provide a spark and energy to appreciate the other.
“Work as if everything, depends on you. Pray as if everything depends on God.” I’m not sure where I heard or read this but I would like to add one more thought to this: “Play as if your existence depends on it.” Remember, the world is God’s playground, a gift he’s given to everyone. Life is discovered, enjoyed and lived fully through the art of play. Children know this best for it is their job, vocation and their most important role. Don’t fire yourself from this. Your true self and your God don’t need to be unemployed and caste aside from you. So have that glass of wine and be fully present to yourself, life and God. It will make a difference.
By the way, may I please have a glass of white wine? I think I will take my own advise and join you.