Adam is definitely challenging me to be patient and mindful of how I react in front of the boys. After having read “Day 1: Love is Patient” in The Love Dare just days of my encounter with Magdalena, I remember bible verse 1 Thessalonians 5:15: “See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another.” At this very moment, I just breathe. How can I not want to seek revenge? I am livid, once again, at his selfish act.
What was he thinking? What is he thinking now? Why would he do that when the boys were also home? Does he not care about their feelings or how confusing this may be to them? I just don’t understand him anymore.
One thing is certain. If we are going to co-exist as co-parents, I do have to be mindful of what I say and do in front of the boys. I believe this thought might be the “good for one another.” He’s teaching me what not to do.
Sorry so late…I just got Outlook yesterday and lost all my information until I was able to sync up completely–big transition for me, Eve. I’m stepping into the future with everyone else. But enough about me, let’s talk about you. 🙂
Eve, I have to say that I am very impressed and inspired to see you make lemonade out of sour lemons. This is not easy when your children are in the picture. Have you had a chance to talk to your sons to find out their interpretation of what was taking place? It’s amazing what children take in and what they suppress. I know you will work to make sure your children have a safe, loving and healthy environment.
Now let’s talk about how this event impacted you. It’s great that you chose to lean on God’s word from 1 Thessalonians 5:15: “See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another.” Very powerful and very challenging to practice. These words sound great, but living them requires self-control, lots of prayer and God’s grace.
Your attitude also plays a great part in providing you with clarity of mind, an open heart and strong instincts to respond with elegance and respect. Choosing to use Adam’s behavior as an example of what “not to do” will guide you as you and Adam define your new relationship. You know it won’t be easy, but it sounds like you are committed to God, yourself and your children. Your priorities along with your positive attitude and God’s word can be used as reminders to stay faithful on this journey.
Here are some additional quotes from the Bible that you can use to anchor yourself during these unsettling times:
“Love your neighbors as yourself.” Matthew 22:39 – You can only respond in love if you are filled with love. Remember to love yourself first.
“Love one another as I have loved you.” John 13:35 – Feel God’s love for you. Bask in this unconditional love. Let it overflow. Share this with everyone you encounter.
“Let the one without sin cast the first stone.” John 8:7 – It’s easier to respond in love when you remember that there are areas in your life where you struggled to act in love.
“Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.” Luke 23:34 – When you can’t forgive the others who have wronged you, say the words and let God supply the feelings.
“I am with you always, even until the end of time.” Matthew 28:20 – You never walk alone even when it feels like you do. Lean on God. He is right by your side every step of the way.
Right now focusing on Step 1: “Learning what not to do” is perfect and enough. As you journey deeper into “woods” and it begins to get darker, I will be there and provide you with guidance and support. Let this time in your life, be an opportunity to grow closer to God, discover your capacity to love and become the woman God loves so dearly. When it’s time, I will share other steps to take when dealing with difficult situations.