I had mixed feelings on Mother’s Day. When I was married, I was fortunate to have a husband who “took care” of the boys while I spent a few hours pampering myself—of course, only after eating breakfast together. Spending the day how I wanted to enjoy it was what I thought Mother’s Day should be. After all, I am a mother every day so why would I want to observe it in the same way I observe it every Sunday?
Setting traditions is important and I do feel like I have done that for the boys. And I know it is imperative that I continue to demonstrate that Mother’s Day is a day to celebrate, honor and respect your mother, grandmas, aunts and special women in their lives. We did celebrate this special day with my mother, father, sister and nieces and nephews. Then, they left.
So why did I cry at one point? I extended a bathroom visit to have some peace and quiet. I also took a nap just to refresh myself. I think I was just reminded of being alone. My boys’ father didn’t do anything on their behalf, which may be why I was sad for them. What kind of example is he setting? Time for Merlot.
Eve, I am sorry to hear about your tears and loneliness. It must have been so sad to feel like this on such a special day.
Events, like this, do tend to bring out feelings that are already there, but don’t have your full attention to be recognized in your everyday life due to schedules. Feelings of loneliness and tears are not moments you plan for. Holidays or other events are their opportunity to come out. They were inside of you days, weeks or even months before they reveal themselves. You probably didn’t realize that these guests, which were probably not welcomed, were waiting for you to notice and embrace them.
Are you wondering how they broke in without you realizing this until now? Were there any signals that you ignored? Did it feel better after you allowed your tears to cleanse your spirit? Did the loneliness bring a message to awaken you to a wound that needs to be healed? Do you still have expectations of Adam that he cannot fulfill? Can you believe that regardless of what Adam chooses to do or not do, that your boys will grow up to be incredible men because of your dedication as a mother and other male role models in their life?
These are some questions to think about. Now, it’s time to give yourself a well-deserved break and just let the moment hold you. Let your tears and loneliness spring you forth into a new paradigm. Grieve what’s gone and missing. Befriend your loneliness for a friend brings comfort and helps transform the lonely feelings.
Eve, it’s time to respond to your needs. A glass of Merlot is a good way to start. How about including a red velvet cupcake? I’ll even join you. What do you think, Eve? Want some company?