Love is thoughtfulness. Acting thoughtful of your ex can definitely be a stretch. Oftentimes, I want to say the first thing that comes to my mind, but I bite my tongue. I realize it’s best to quiet myself and not engage in behavior that will yield negative effects.
I remember the honeymoon stage of dating and marriage; I am thoughtful of him, wanting to satisfy him in many ways. Thinking first of my partner then me often comes with the territory of a loving relationship. After several years of marriage, I faded in my thoughtfulness and thought of the children. I began to do everything for the boys, settling in my relationship and accepting what I had.
Wishing there had been more, I think about what I could have done. But today, the best thing to be with my ex is thoughtful. Together we are co-parenting our two boys who need our unconditional love and attention. I need to stretch my mind and exercise the act of loving thoughtfulness. To think good thoughts is the beginning and I have a new beginning every day.
Eve, it is wonderful that you are aware of the impact that your thoughts and words have. And you’re right that they are the beginning of being thoughtful towards another. It’s not always easy, but when practiced every day, the grace of God meets you and strengthens you.
Thoughtfulness, as you have discovered, is a door that opens you up to a world of many blessings and graces. It lures you into a dance and then invites the other person into this dance. Each thoughtful encounter becomes sweeter and expands your mind and heart as well as those around you. One can’t help but join in the dance that sets you free to love in a new way what might be unlovable. And let’s face it, loving an ex can be challenging at times.
I encourage and support you in your desire to responding thoughtfully towards Adam. And even when it appears you efforts are failing, don’t give it up. Like you said, each day is a new beginning to recommit to living and acting thoughtfully. You have the power to transform your family’s world by sprinkling thoughtfulness in all you do.