After much thought and in what I considered to be an act of survival, I decide to go on a date with Adam to try to rekindle any romance in our marriage. Having been married for 12 years, I have invested too much of my time and love to just give it all up. I sacrificed my dreams and invested in Adam’s career. We have two sons, a new home, and are living the American dream. I thought I should give him a chance to show me that he wants to still be in this marriage.
With new high heels, new matching underwear set and new outfit, I am dressed to impress Adam. I apply makeup, which is new to me, and with a new hair color and hairstyle, I notice how different I look. I am definitely slimming down a bit, but maybe because I’m not eating. Regardless, I look so much better than ever before. Adam notices and seems pleasantly surprised.
During our dinner, which is paired with Merlot, we have several conversations revolved around the boys. I try not to bring up anything about the indiscretions. Merlot helps me be at ease with the evening so I ask for another glass. I want to escape for an evening and put all the bad thoughts behind me. I want to focus on Adam and myself and save our marriage.
When we return home, we go upstairs and follow the usual routine of putting the boys to bed. However, I have something else in mind for Adam. While he’s giving the boys a kiss goodnight, I am quickly dressing into something more comfortable. I take out the lingerie I just purchased yesterday and slip it on. Adam had never liked lingerie. At least that’s what he had told me. But tonight, I’m going to spice up our night. I don’t know what exactly is happening with the other women besides making phone calls and testing and, at this moment, I don’t want to care. I just want to have sex again and feel loved. It’s been about a year since we last had sex, literally, one excuse after another so I am definitely ready tonight.
Shhhh…I hear him coming.
Guiding Lesson: Eve, has it really been a year that you and Adam have not been fully present to each other on any intimate level? As you know, intimacy starts outside the bedroom. You see, all the different ways you connect outside the bedroom–mentally, emotionally and spiritually–create a hunger and desire that begs to be expressed on a physical connection. I regret to say the reverse is also true. You and Adam were making excuses in other areas of your life that took away the appetite to really unite in love.
I can tell how special this evening is. You have hopes as you try to hold on to your American dream. Yet, I smell something new in the air. Can you sense it? It is not as familiar as you are accustomed to. Trying to reconcile the old with the new does not usually happen in one night. It takes time, my dear sweet Eve. I know you are working to emerge from living in the shadows of each other’s past. Do you think Adam is where you are?
Physically, you are experimenting new ways to express yourself as well as find whom you are: your new clothes, hairstyle, makeup, lingerie, etc. I can tell your attitude has also shifted as you try to figure out who you want to be in this new exterior makeover. Even Adam had to take a second look. His face lit up when he saw you. What did that feel like? Do you think this is enough to help you continue your dream? Eve, this moment was only possible because you first stopped and noticed yourself. No one can see you if you don’t see or recognize your own value first.
I’m glad to see your dinner with Adam and your faithful friend, Merlot, went well. So now that you are home and have slipped into something more comfortable, it is time for me to slip into some place less conspicuous.
Good night…hope your dream comes true. 🙂