Makeup was never an essential item in my daily routine. When I met Adam I wasn’t wearing makeup, hardly wore it. I was all natural. I never placed any importance on makeup during our marriage. I figured I really didn’t need to apply it and take time in the morning to look good. I think of makeup as a different type of mask, one that deliberately gets applied everyday so we can look and feel good, alter or project a different mood. I was also very grateful that Adam didn’t place any pressure on me to look good.
Although I didn’t wear makeup every day, I see the benefits of what makeup can do to one’s self-esteem. Looking back, I wish I had taken care of myself a little more by taking the time to make myself look better.
Grace, I’m a bit conflicted by this. On one hand, I think that I didn’t wear a mask by covering up the imperfections on my face and internally, yet by wearing makeup, I could have felt better and looked better for Adam. I could have shown Adam that I cared about what I looked like when we went out. Instead, I relied on my character, my personality, my humor and my thoughts to show Adam who I was.
Today, I’m wearing makeup nearly every day and getting used to the imperfections of my life, including on myself. And you know what, Grace, I’m getting comfortable with that. I know I can’t be perfect. But imperfect doesn’t mean bad; I think it means I’m perfect.
Guiding Lesson: Hi Eve! I agree with you that your imperfections are what make you perfect. No matter what flaws you saw external or internal, there was a sense of wonder of who you are and who you are called to be in this world. Your imperfections did not stop you from doing the incredible things you did and are still meant to do. They didn’t stop you from showing great love to your boys. They didn’t prevent you from having a strong character, great personality and being able to enjoy a good laugh. These are things that made you perfect and there is so much more to uncover.
Now regarding wearing makeup or not wearing it, I can see how you might be a little conflicted. As you have learned, life does not always have a nice neat answer to questions or situations. Did you think that not wearing makeup was the real issue? What would have changed? Would you have seen the world differently? Would Adam have thougth of you differently? How would you have seen yourself differently if you wore makeup?
I know you are wearing makeup today, but today you are emerging into a new you that has always been inside. What I was mostly concerned about was the lack of care you had for you. Eve, it wasn’t just not wearing makeup. It was how you didn’t place yourself on your own list of people to care for. If I recall, everyone, and every stray, was on your list. You never even nominated yourself.
I am proud that you actually are getting several nominations these days as someone that you need to stop and care for. This does include taking care of yourself physically as well as mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Are you able to see the difference of using makeup as a mask versus caring for yourself? Makeup can be used to enhance your natural beauty. It is not about covering your true self that you lose who you are. However, a mask attempts to present someone else other than you and suppresses your inner voice, truth and gifts. You think that the mask will help you deal and blend in with the outer world. Unfortunately, a mask will cause you to stumble and find that you no longer know who you really are.
Wearing makeup to help you feel good about yourself and feel more confident in the world is not such a bad thing. This will serve you well. You need some rituals in your life to remind yourself of how special you are to YOU. Continue to find different rituals you can do throughout your day to reprioritize and put yourself on top of your list. Maybe you will even win the nomination. I know I am voting for you.